With customary fanfare, the arrangements for the JIF CHRISTMAS DINNER were released at a packed press conference earlier today. Fielding questions from a large crowd of journalists, interested persons and a man looking for the toilets, a club spokesman confirmed that ‘the menu will be lush’, that ‘the bar staff will be busy’ and ‘that many coins will be coaxed out of sealed wallets’.

In line with previous club dinners, there will be a raffle, with proceeds going to our nominated charity. Children of High School age are welcome providing they remain utterly silent, collect the raffle money and obey instructions doled out by parents squinting at them with ‘don’t mess with me’ eyes.

The menu may be found below. Please book with an urgency normally reserved for Black Friday sales. Cash may be given to the shop as they are trained to deal with such matters. We look forward to seeing you there, dressed all tidy (no jeans) and singing Yuletide songs with uncommon vigour.